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RFF LULU BOOK 2, BY FED Hey Frank, I found this poo about RFF’s second book. Joe Friday (Brett Solberg) was in charge of the design for book 2. On March 30, 2006 he posted this: "just to let everyone know, I've been working on fixing the printing issue for the several days. I've determined that the file that Lulu is using is perfectly fine.. the issue is definitely caused by their printing procedure.. I have informed them that we are all dissatisfied with the print quality, and told them they need to fix it and send out replacement copies to those who have placed orders so far." (Thanks, FED.) http://www.rangefinderforum.com/forums/showthread.php?t=21063 On March 30, 2006 kbg2 wrote: "FYI - Received my book today. Black and white images have a slight magenta cast."
On June 19th gooOh wrote: "So whatever was the outcome with Lulu about this 2nd book? Was it ever resolved? Any chance of it ever being resolved, or is this as good as it gets with Lulu?" Brett Solberg responds: "I purchased a copy a few weeks ago, and while the printing was done improperly (and one of my photos was affected), it wasn't such a grevous error that anyone outside of our group would likely notice, or at least be bothered by so, the final word is that it's not going to be 'fixed'.. but if you really hate the copy that you get, you can either demand a reprint or your money back." On July 13 Solberg writes: "Did I mention that Lulu really sucks?... it's possible the PDF file got corrupted.. that does happen from time to time for no reason at all.. they claim they'll check it out and get back to me soon. I'll try and contact them to see if they need a new copy of the file.. it's 'only' 850 megs, so it should upload easily in, say, 6 hours." Bill Mattocks - William Mattocks gooOh writes: "there was indeed a very, very faint 'pinkish' cast to some of the black and white photos."
On June 3rd, 2007 Schitrowsky started a thread entitled "re-order RFF book #2 from quality printer." If 100 GASbags promise to buy a copy, Joe Friday can have it reprinted by a "quality printer." Keep in mind that the first book was printed by Loo Loo with no problems. Perhaps the file for the first book was under 800 mB. Six weeks later, Schitrowsky only has 77 orders! rangefinderforum.com/forums/showthread.php?t=42117 Maybe Schitrowsky can ask Castlemore School to buy 23 copies for their Special Ed program.
BACK-STABBING MR. BUTTOCKS pakeha asks, "so where is Bill Mattocks then?" The member, "Ade-oh," quotes the webmaster and dumps, "Not really, dull obsessives are everywhere." photogdave sums up with: "He copies text from other blogs and websites that he links to later, and puts his own byline on the 'story.' This site masquerades as an authentic source of information with a credited reporter writing articles but it feels downright fraudulent. Moe (Billy's friend) then locks the thread and goes back to fondling his gear. PITXU'S FINE ART GALLERY http://www.flickr.com/photos/46973922@N03 FRED SAYS HE'S ROGER AND RICHARD nikonhswebmaster writes, When comparing the writing styles and subject matter of these 4 clowns, and we know that Roger actually does exist, only 1 conclusion can be drawn. Roger suffers from multiple personality disorder. TIT FOR TAT - TAKE 2 "Where in the world is Roger Hicks?" asks the member, oftheherd. "Hadn't seen Mr. Hicks post lately, and his profile says he hasn't posted for several days. Does anyone know if he is just taking a break from us?" Philly writes, "Roger has a column in AP dated today in which he clearly takes a shot at Bill Mattocks, who himself has not posted here for over two weeks." rangefinderforum.com/forums/showthread.php?t=86896 GANDY CRACKS A JOKE The famous American camera expert, Stephen Gandy, has only a tiny blurb about Konica SLRs. He writes: WHERE'S THAT STINKER? Billy Buttocks hasn't posted in over a week. In one of his last posts he wrote: WHAT RFF IS ABOUT
Bob (aka, moe) writes, "it was sexist and offensive. i'm glad it was deleted." Chriscrawdaddyphoto: the male members "acted like they were in a titty bar." In post #18 CameraQueerest dumps a load on the cabbage heads. So what is RFF about? His most trusted mod turns invisible and then hangs out at bus stops and school playgrounds to photograph children; his "forum software engineer" shoots butts of young women; his lord mentor brags about having regular sex with an underage girl. Then we have Camera Queerest himself asking for donations to shell out his buddy from the slammer for overdosing his (very) young drug addicted lover and then having anal sex with her corpse, not once but twice. FOLLOWING THE BOUNCING BOOBS Check out APLUG... it is BRIMming with great ideas. And, follow the bouncing boobs and you'll end up at "big 'uns"... isn't that what Al Bundy called Big Ideas and Large Format Fotography? Steph's "crazy" "possible project"..."So...how crazy am I?;" POOPIE SAYS: It probably isn't nice to pick fun at the expense of the needy...but that chick is amazing how she "works the room" and gets every horny guy to give her stuff whenever she has a "bright idea," then she produces nothing in return. The part I laughed at the most is when she posted at APUG, "I found what I need (or want?) so now I'm going over to LFPF"...and then went to LFPF and asked for the same stuff. I guess she's cleaned out RFF and found out that APUGers are a bunch of tightwads, so now she's cleaning out LFPF. An amazing talent! CHASING THE RAINBOW Moe buys yet another lens, this time a Leica. "the elmar has landed..." he cries. The 340# moderator continues, IS HIS LORDSHIP RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS? Lord Hicks asks, "What do you want in a magazine?" What he means, really, is what do his worshipers want to see from him in print. Continuing, he brags: "It strikes me that writing about equipment is easiest of all. After that, what is there?" The thread takes off but Nikonmeister Fred starts to argue and it quickly spirals into a pissing contest. The lord gets very angry but soon backs down, knowing that he is beaten. He then grabs his jug of wine, turns on Tele-Tubbies and reclines into his Lazy Boy. After several good swigs, and a whack or two, he begins reminiscing about Adita and falls asleep. The thread can be found HERE: http://rangefinderforum.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=141 MOE'S PHOTOS SUCK The member, gho, of Berlin asks, "What do the photos you take tell about yourself?" Mod' moe replies, "my photos tell me not to quit my day job." SKIPPING RECORD MODE Why is the lord bragging about his 19 year lover again? He comes across as an old pervert---and pedophile when Adita was only 15. Perhaps he's suffering from micro-strokes or hitting the bottle big time. It's obvious he's mentally ill and crying for help. However, the GASbags don't care because half of them are just as sick. CURMUDGEON SAN'S "CAMERA CORNER" #2 GASbag (& 4th grade teacher), FrankS(chitrowsky), decides it's time to brag about his camera collection; so a new thread is in order. He tells the GASbags that he's "fortunate to have a spare bedroom" which he uses as both a darkroom and camera museum. 2 photos are proudly uploaded followed with a description of which cameras are where: In Post #3 the member, Pablito, writes his cameras are "Nowhere near the darkroom... Darkroom sees a lot of water & chemicals, a hostile environment for cameras." WHY BILLY PREFERS POOP-SHOOTING
SO WHY DOES BILLY PREFER POOP-SHOOTING AGAIN?
Philly pissed off Billy so Billy took down some videos he had on YouTube. Billy hasn't posted since. RAID ATTEMPTS TO REVIVE AN OLD THREAD On November 3, 2009, the member, aboudd, uploads a pic of a naked chick with her legs cracked open and writes: "I'm in (not me personally)" On Feb 12, 2010 Raid attempts to revive his porn thread writing, "Excellent images being posted here. Let's revitalize this wonderful thread. Thanks." Raid is a professor of mathematics, he is married and has 2 young teenage daughters. Is he not getting sex at home or is he a pervert? Suddenly the thread takes a turn. Philly and Mabel get horny and want to see Raid's ass Philly: "Yeah Raid! How about some pictures of you. How about some hunky guys with nice abs and cute buns?" Big bad moe immediately deletes some of the posts to save the pervert's ass for himself. THE GASBAGS DISCUSS PHOTOGRAPHING CHILDREN Ming Rider starts a thread asking, "How do you feel about photographing children in the modern world" and then adds: "Maybe it's lack of confidence/paranoia on my part?" "i generally don't photograph kids any longer. it's a shame really..." moe whines. A while back he deleted all his kiddie shots for fear the authorities were on to him. Then Lord Hicks jumps in and dumps: "No-one is obliged to give in to a small number of the hard of thinking. So I don't." Finally Brian calls a spade a spade: "Maybe you guys just come across as perverts." DEAR ROGER Dear Roger, "Dear Terry, I'll look forward to it. Don't hold your breath, though: Frances has no US passport at the moment." Love Roger. RFF: RUSSIAN FINDER FORUM Hey Frank, FRANCES 42.58% OF THE GASBAGS PREFER LEICA FRANCES PUTS HUBBY ON SUICIDE WATCH Lord Hicks writes, "We're all going to DIE." http://rangefinderforum.com/forums/showthread.php?t=85870 THE BIMBO GETS BANNED AGAIN Jenni Macaulay-Jones, who also calls herself the "wee Scottish bimbo," is now banned from the FL Flickr group. The group admin (Mr Speedlight) writes, "saw a whole line of red 'Ban' links. Well I thought that Flickr had messed up and banned everyone in the group. I proceeded to click on 'Remove' and then confirmed thinking I was removing the ban." He then adds, "I'm quite sure I deleted jenni.macaulayjones." 42.58% OF THE GASBAGS PREFER LEICA On the latest RFF poll, "Which RF camera members use," 42.58% say, Leica! PITXU'S MEMORIAL ON FLICKR The GASbags found the Pitxu memorial on flickr flickr.com/photos/46973922@N03 where many of Pitxu's fine art photos are displayed. Missing are the wildly popular buttocks shot and penis portrait which the gasbags so love. Even Moe had expressed astonishment. Lord Hicks too---popped a blue pill and attacked Fran's fanny. (Adita was already gone and working in a foreign massage spa for the rich and wrinkly.) The photo-stream belongs to "Aita Maitea" who could be one of Pitxu's fan boys---or is it Pitxu himself posting from beyond the grave? BESSA FREE AT LAST! The poomeister's very last Bessa R3A, coupled with the 'cron 40, is now gone. His hands are washed; he is clean. How did he get sucked in? Seriously, a $10 used Yashica ELECTRO GSN or a $10 used Konica AUTO S2 will save you a THOUSAND DOLLARS or more. Their coupled lenses are a way better than any of that new crap. FROM CHAIRS TO CHICKENS The tranny, mabelsound, announces that for 1010 he will start shooting chickens instead of chairs. Somewhat rattled, the 340# moderator writes, "you know theres a flickr group for empty chairs eh?" Link MOE'S BECOME A REAL PEST AGAIN Lucky Dave picked up a pristine Hexanon 40/1.8 and a Konica FT1 body "for a song." This Hex' lens was touted as the best 40mm lens ever made. Suddenly the 340# moderator, Moe, shows up to rain on Dave's parade. Moe plops: "when i was using the cle i had all 3 lenses, 28,40,90...seemed a near perfect kit." Link "ARSEHOLES" Lord Hicks brags that he's been renting himself out for £1000 per day. "Probably more for arseholes," his worship adds. Then he writes that he'd do it "for free for the Tibetan Government in Exile." Link MEMPHIS'S THREAT Hey Frank, Netcraft says that RFF uses Spry Hosting. If you wanted to report Memphis's death threat, you could send a screen cap here: IT'S A BIG INTERNET "Its a big internet," Stephen Gassy of Cameraqueerest cries. Then he asks the GASbags: "How many good alternatives to Ebay are there?" Actually, Craig's List. And it's free. LORD HICKS RECOMMENDS BUBBLE-WRAP Confused about how to package all his camera gear for a 2000 km move by car Michael asks the GASbags. The lord immediately jumps in and suggests "bubble wrap" and "an extra lock (or even two) on the trunk." CURMUDGEON SAN IS SURPRISED The 4th grade teacher, FrankS(chitrowsky), is surprised that "some photographers do not consider/appreciate the visual effect of limitied DOF." Then he dumps, "limited and selective DOF is a powerful tool for focusing a viewer's attention to where one wants." Gumby asks him, "Do you really need an answer to this question, or are you having one of those 'fragile days' and need some emotional support?" Trius adds, "I often wonder if it is used to cover up sloppy/bad composition." WHAT KILLED AL? A few days before his heart attack Al got a clean bill of heath from his doctor. On December 9, 2009 he posted "Message On A Bottle" with a photo of his Viagra prescription. SCREWED UP In an effort to protect the GASbags from humourous commentary on the stupid things they post, the RFF mods got the threads all screwed up. Jmkelly wrote, "Frank G screwing around? The other day when I clicked on the button to post a reply to the thread, it took me straight to 'photop**.' Cleared up later. Nice. If he is, mods should report him to the FBI." YAHOO FOR GASBAGS Hey Frank, In the sticky thread, "Why would someone be banned or removed from the forum?" The GASbags need to try http://www.THErangefinderforum.com ROGER HICKS DANCES ON PITXU'S GRAVE On that long RIP thread for Pitxu the lord continues spewing his hate. First the member, digitalintrigue, writes this about Pitxu: This gives Lord Hicks the opening he was looking for and dumps: Fred (nikonhswebmaster) then quotes the lord and writes: There's also a RIP Pitxu thread here. PITXU IS DEAD! How did he die? His hip was shattered during the Falklands War and since then he's needed maintenance surgery. There are metal plates, nuts and bolts in there, kinda like a Borg. Before each operation he has to give lots of blood which is frozen and kept for the operation. On Dec 7 Pitxu went in for his 7th scheduled "maintenance job" and it went terribly wrong. He had massive blood loss which starved the brain and he never regained consciousness. Sadly, he was declared brain dead and taken off the respirator on Dec 31. RIP! JORGE TERRIBLE PLAYS WITH POO: PROTECT YOUR PRIVACY Protect your privacy and enable your Firefox browser to follow RFF links from the POO. BILLY BUTTOCKS FOR PRESIDENT Billy writes, "I'm running for President. I should win, I'm light-skinned and I have no Negro accent." Link PHILLY HAS A BIG CLIT Newscaster and trouble maker, Billy Buttocks, plops another one called, "Aura Photography" and provides a link. In post #3 Billy follows up with, "My aura is in the witless protection program." Jamie123 brags, "My aura has a big penis." MORE FREE ADVICE FROM LORD HICKS Yoricko asks, "How should I start out as a Wedding Photographer?" Link The Lord replies: JORGE TERRIBLE PLAYS WITH POO AKA Jorge Torralba, and posting under numerous stupid names, has put in a script so that all RFF links clicked from here redirect back to the poo. What a funny guy. Here's the fix: BARNY WARNS THE SODOMISTS After Lord Hicks writes, "as far as homosexuality goes," "I accept that there are people who enjoy it," GB(arny) Hill begins to quote the bible: MORE ON MEMPHIS Hey Frank, Memphis deleted his Facebook page but you can still read it here You may want to right-click-save his photo so you can include it with your police report. He’s also deleted the photo of his house in his RFF gallery. According to the Better Business Bureau report, he operates his business from this location. HA HA! Big bad moe bans another one. Link But why did moe give norvenka the boot? Moe writes, "did anyone notice norvenka's join date? he joined just to make a negative comment" The fearless mod' never makes negative comments. CAMERAQUEEREST QUITS FL Actually, he quit last week. THE "HITMAN" FROM MEMPHIS Hey Frank, THE SEWING CIRCLE & SEEING DOUBLE The lord is not saying much lately. Not on RFF anyway. His column is so interesting they posted it twice. amateurphotographer.co.uk/backfromfront Does he get paid twice for writing the same crap? BARNEY'S SWASTIKA PHOTO What's with the Swastika on the wall? http://www.flickr.com/photos/gbhill59/2355996128 MOE AT WORK When Moe isn't chasing ghosts in the 'members only' forum he starts stupid threads like this: Moe explains: "the 10 that clearly show that the asker has done no search at all for an answer.". The GASbags don't realize it is the 340# moderator posting these stupid questions and he's just hoping for a pat on the back, or butt. The thread balloons...because it's stupid from the start. On page #5 Gabriel MAMA M.A. writes, "Oh, then there's the classic 'which camera for my wife?'" "It depends on whether or not your wife has recently been CLA'd," adds kkdanamatt. Moe comes back and dumps, "why does that sound so dirty?" BARNEY HILL'S FLICKR Hey Frank, Barney Hill's hometown of Lexington, NC has been invaded by aliens! THE ZOMBINATOR! Jorge Terrible is the Zombinator. He's started a new forum for gun nuts. The Zombinator writes, "Who is into collecting guns? There are quite a few gun aficionados out there and those who plan for when the zombies attack :) Check out this site it's pretty cool. stopthezombie.com" GASBAGS AND MURDERERS The RFF member, memphis (aka Blake Billings), offers to murder your poomeister for GB(arny) Hill: RAID FONDLES WITH HIS FAMILY In a digi vs film thread Raid wrote, "Would you in evenings while watching TV and drinking some hot drink with your families actually just hold a digital camera in your hands to admire the craftmanship and history that went into its production?" Dave Wilkinson replies, "Film-or digital, they would probably think 'the old man had flipped' Raid!" Link THE MONO-FONDLER On that same thread Dave Wilkinson asks Moe, "you don't sit and fondle one, while watching TV with the family?" Moe answers, "i don't really watch much telly." LORD HICKS TO THE RESCUE "I have a law degree," the lord brags. JESUS SPEAKS THROUGH GB(ARNY) HILL
PESPHOTO'S HOLIDAY SURPRISE "Not looking forward to holidays," he writes, "divorced, separated? How do I do this." Didn't Adita's boyfriend used be a lawyer? Maybe he should ask him. His wife probably had enough with hubby's GAS addicion and gave him the steamer. Poor Pes. He once got pissed on by a cat. Link AL IS DEAD! Wednesday, December 30, 2009. RIP. He was a photographer who loved to shoot in the first person singular, using a wide-angle (15mm) lens. He also loved young pussy but usually ended up with this. Unlike the lord Al made sure they were always of legal age and then some; unlike the GASbags Al never slept alone. Al will be missed; his expertise will be missed; his plops will be missed. So long friend. Say hello to the angels and have fun! I hear they're all virgins. MEMPHIS GETS CREEPY First he deletes his RFF thread where out of jealousy he declares this great artist's work is crap, then he deletes his kiddies folder on his musical photo website and now he's put in a script which blocks his site when clicked from the poo. So just copy the URL, exit the poo, paste and press enter. blakebillings.net THE BEST 200MM SLR LENS IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD Hey! It's a Konica Hexanon 200/3.5! http://www.dvfreelancer.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=7096 LIVING WITH ASPERGER Asperger doesn't stop the stealthy one from being creative. "it bothers me as i have been a black and white shooter for so many years now...need to re-think it all." "i'm writing a symphony...i'm only using one note." CALLING THE KETTLE BLAKE - UPDATE Hey Frank, memphis deleted that thread. He's also deleted the "Children" folder from his web-site. You know, I felt there was something creepy about that Memphis. I tried to suppress the feeling because of insufficient data, others seemed to like him, and I couldn't quite put my finger on it. It had to do with the way he fawned over his daughter. It just didn't seem very parent like to me. MOE WILL STILL BE WORKING WHEN HE'S DEAD Moderating from the beyond "retire? i'll be working till the day after i die! but at least i've had an exhibition or 2 before i go," the 340# mad mod' dumps. Link CALLING THE KETTLE BLAKE Hey Frank, check out this thread: http://rangefinderforum.com/forums/showthread.php?t=83976 The member "memphis" writes, "and this, my friends, is why I don't even bother with galleries and such
LEICAPHILES WANT CHROME! eleskin "is holding out for a Chrome M9 when and if it comes."because chrome does not wear like cheap paint. "GIVE ME CHROME PLEASE!!!" Art the fart (from Tacoma) shares the concern: "Me, for the same reason." "I don't have any Leica painted cameras." Then Lord Hicks pops in his little head and starts masturbating: "I'd rather take pictures than wait for something that may or may not happen. Also, many (including me) like the way that paint wears." SIR KEITH POOH-POOHS THE LORD On that same thread Down-Under's knighted one gives the Lord GASbag a poke: "Chromium soulless ... that's a first! You surprise me Roger! ... maybe Leica are waiting to offer the chrome finish as an option ... so they can charge extra for it?" CURMUDGEON SAN GETS IGNORED FrankS(chitrowsky) asks his fellow GASbags, "Gosh, about how long does it take you to change lenses?" (It only takes teach a yank and a dump.) No one replies. Link ROVER SAYS ALL THE NUT CASES HAVE MORE THAN ONE RFF USER NAME Moderator and "Dad with a Camera" writes that he has banned back door alley "many times." Roving Ralph adds, "He just keep logging in under one of his other user names (all the nut cases have them) though and reinstating himself." Link
Disclaimer: non-commercial, photopoo is a satire of online photo forums and is solely for amusement and entertainment purposes. This site is not intended for the physically and/or mentally under-aged, nor for the ironically challenged. |
Hey Frank, that sounds like an omen!
Tarzak posts the response he got from Lulu when he placed an order: "I apologize your order was not fulfilled. This was the first order placed through our Spanish Printer for your book. The reason it did not print is because the source PDF was too big at over 800mb." Do you think Brett Solberg screwed it up? He used to post on RFF more than 5 times a day. This year, he's been posting about 5 times a month. Joe Friday works as a graphic artist for a well known manufacturer of toilets and sinks. The LULU sales rank of this book has dropped from 248 to 263 in the last few months. 
On July 22, 2007, Schitrowsky finally got 98 GASbags to sign up. Guess what the "wiseguy" did next? He posted the following poo: "They say adversity makes you stronger. The printer that offered to do this run of 100 books has backed out." 
William Mattocks - Bill Mattocks
rangefinderforum.com/forums/showthread.php?t=86896
Check out the kiddie porn.
